Ever since the Lurong Living Paleo Challenge ended, I’ve been a little. . .let’s say. . .”relaxed” with my dietary choices. It really has been the perfect storm of “bad” food: the combination of cravings from not having a single cheat for 9 weeks, holiday parties and get togethers, allowing myself to have alcoholic beverages for the first time in months, and my decision to lower my standards during the holidays.
I didn’t weigh myself this week as a way to help myself stop stressing about my weight gain these past few weeks, but I have been feeling pretty discouraged lately, and I know I’m up about 5 pounds or so (maybe more). Some of it is to be expected – eating food that isn’t good for me is going to have consequences. But it’s still disheartening to see the scale move in the wrong direction week after week.
Some of my choices to eat food that is “bad” for me are still good choices though. Like I talked about in my post about lowering my standards for the holidays, my main goal is to enjoy life and enjoy the company of those around me. So I don’t regret for one minute that I ate all different types of food at the progressive dinner Meg talked about the other day. It was delicious, and by allowing myself not to stress about what I ate it allowed me to have a better time and be more relaxed and just focus on what was important: friends. That being said, did I need to have a chocolate chip cookie yesterday on my lunch? Or two? No, I didn’t. But I still ate them, and that’s where I need to start focusing my efforts.
Maybe my personality is too much of an “all or nothing” personality. I can go 9 weeks without a single cheat, but as soon as I allow myself to cheat it becomes a free for all of beer, chocolate, ice cream, and pastries. I need to find a happy medium where I can still make good choices 90% of the time, but still enjoy myself with family and friends. I’m having a hard time balancing this out, but I suppose that if it was easy then we would all be doing it!
With all that being said, I’ve been feeling a little down about it even though I’m trying not to stress about it. I made baklava for work on Monday, and brought some over to my old department because they all really liked the baklava I made last year. Side note: I definitely ate way too much baklava. This is exactly what I’m talking about – I should allow myself to have some because it’s a special treat that I only enjoy during the holidays, and it reminds me of my grandmother. But that doesn’t mean I need to eat several pieces to enjoy it either.
Anyway – I haven’t seen anyone from my old department for several months. So when I saw them to deliver the baklava they all gave me compliments about how good I looked. Even though I’ve been feeling fat and discouraged, I still had lost weight and was more fit then the last time they saw me. In a self-centered way: I needed that. I needed to be reminded that yes, the last few weeks haven’t been great for me fitness/health-wise. But I’ve still come a very long way. And a few weeks of bad choices aren’t going to undo everything I’ve worked hard toward. I should still be proud of where I am, and shouldn’t get too down on myself.
Don’t get me wrong – this is not a free pass to stop working out, to eat whatever I want all the time, to stop pushing to improve, and to stop striving toward my goals. I still need to make good choices, but I also need to keep things in perspective. Gaining weight sucks, but I’m NOT going to gain back the 100+ I’ve lost. I need to make the best choices I can, but still stay true to my goal of allowing myself to enjoy the holidays. So, if I eat another piece of baklava, I will savor every bite, and fondly remember my grandmother and everything she taught me. I will relish the time I spend with friends and the (literal) bread I break with them. I will enjoy the time I spend with my family both this weekend when we visit Meg’s parents in Bradford, and next weekend when we travel to Syracuse to visit my parents. And I will try to continue to keep everything in perspective: that I won’t be perfect during these holidays, but that doesn’t mean I’ve failed.
Do you have trouble keeping things in perspective? What can you do to keep a big picture view of things when you are getting discouraged?
A search in Yahoo brought up your website – I’m happy it did, many thanks.