A few months ago Meg and I were at a CrossFit class together, and part of the warm up included overhead squats with a PVC pipe. The trainer for that class, Randy, came by as Meg and I were both doing our squats and said “The couple that squats together stays together!” It was pretty funny, and then we just went on with the workout.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that comment lately, and I think it has more truth to it than I originally thought. As I mentioned last week, Meg and I have started a weekly tradition of going to the 5am WOD together every Monday morning, and then coming back to the house to have breakfast together before we leave for work.Today was great – we worked out right next to each other, and during the first round Randy yelled out “the Hartmans are tied!” Meg might try to say that she’s not very competitive, but that is a lie – I found her sneaking looks over at me during the entire workout to see how I was doing so she could try to beat me. And how did I know she was doing that? Because I was doing the same thing! (But we all know that I am overly competitive.) After the workout we both admitted that we were trying to beat the other person, and we both commented on how fun it was!
Unfortunately, over the last several months we’ve done a few workouts together, but we’ve done many, many more apart from each other. A lot of that is intentional – we both like to go at 6am and then shower at work so we don’t have to drive all the way home. The problem is we have a crazy dog at home and it is unfair to him for us to both leave the house at 5:30am to get to the gym and then not get home until 5:30pm or later. So if we both go to the same workout in the morning, one of us has to drive home during lunch to let him out. Therefore, we’ve intentionally planned our schedules so that we are rarely at the gym at the same time so that we can minimize the amount of times we have to make an extra trip home for Stanley.
Due to a few different things, we’ve done three together in the past week, and I forgot how much I enjoy working out with Meg! I’m no marriage expert (if you want that – go to Marriage Adventures), but I am starting to see that the more we workout together the stronger our relationship is.
I have an idea on why this might be. The workouts we do are hard, often grueling, and they take everything out of you. When you share that experience with someone else, I think there is a small bond that forms through the mutual experience of pushing your limits past where you thought you could go, and then coming back out on top. We also encourage each other while we are working out, and we cheer each other on to try to motivate each other. I think that verbal and emotional support during these tough workouts, combined with the shared experience, goes a long way in our relationship.
Another thought I have on it is that I admire Meg, and am proud of her, when I’m working out with her. It just reminds me how strong she is, both physically and mentally, because I can witness first hand how she is determined to better herself. It reminds me how I married such a wonderful, strong, and beautiful woman.
All my sappy sentiments aside, I think Randy wasn’t completely joking when he told us that “the couple that squats together stays together.” Logistically we probably will continue to stagger our workouts so that we don’t have to run home on lunch as often. But, when our schedules allow it, I plan on attending the same class as Meg whenever possible. If we’re going to work on improving our physical health, why not allow it to improve our relationship health at the same time?
Here’s my challenge to you: if you’re not doing this already, try to do something physically active with your significant other on a quasi-regular basis. It can be every week, several times a week, or maybe bi-weekly. Go for a run together, or find a nearby nature trail and take a long walk. Consider signing up for a 5K together, or be each other’s spotters while lifting weights. You don’t have to do a CrossFit class together (but you can!) to share these benefits – find something that you both will enjoy doing (spinning, dancing class, bicycle ride, water aerobics, swimming, ice skating, skiing, basketball, squash, tennis, etc.) and then do it with each other. Make sure to sweat, and make an effort to watch your significant other, cheer him/her on, and enjoy the pride when both of you finish.
Or simply just do some squats!
This is fabulous Bob! You are so right. Erv and I working out together has been a strength in our marriage for years! Not only is it great shared time but there is great power in shared goals and priorities! Thanks for sharing this.